I know, I know, I missed last week, but I hit a wall last week and you wouldn't have wanted to hear from me anyway.

I honestly thought I was done by Monday, I was suffering from a major bout of claustrophobia and cabin fever which conspired against me to bring on HUGE depression...it wasn't pretty.

Then Tuesday came and we got a load going home so I got to hug my kids!!!

We didn't get to save the kitties though. I see strays at pretty much every truck stop, the first night at this one we saw a little orange kitty he was sweet and timid but I just was taken by him, so I tried and tried to pet him, but no luck. Then we got some tuna and salmon and at least I felt better coz I fed him, but then Thursday morning, as I was feeding kitty 1, Kitty 2 showed up.

It's pretty obvious they were brothers, they were very comfortable with each other and while the one was orange with a white nose and belly, the other was all orange, but here's the clincher, kitty 2 was dragging his rear right leg. I mean the leg was dead, it was stretched out behind him and then the paw on the rear left was a bit mangled, but he was still using it some.

So I freaked, I HAD to save these babies. I got more tuna and more salmon and started feeding kitty 2, now he got a lot closer then kitty 1 did, I'm thinking coz it's got to be hard to pounce without good back legs so he was probably a whole lot hungrier, and then it happened...we got a load.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Labels: road trip, Samantha Lucas, Sundays with Samantha

There is no curing this animal thing I've got going. I've had it all my life and you'd think I'd be over it by now, but I'm not. I more than just love animals, I need them, I need to help them. I want to save them all! It's the same feeling I had at five and it doesn't matter how old I get or how much my head knowledge tells me there's no way to save them all...I WANT TO!

I'm now trying to rescue two little gutter kitties I found last night at this truck stop. One needs veterinary attention and I can't just leave it like this, but they're both so skittish. They're about four months old, I'd guess, and the one has two bad legs, probably hit by a car or something.

Please hold out good thoughts, I know it may sound crazy to a lot of people, but I can't turn my back on an animal in need, but I don't have the luxury of time here. I know, I can call the authorities and all that, but I also know that process and what will most likely happen to these kittens if I do that. So please, just keep good thoughts.

Well, today I'm in Illinois, about 20 miles outside Chicago...which is a REALLY huge city btw! SHEESH I had no idea. Coming from L.A. our buildings can't go that tall, earthquakes and all you know, so they spread out a bit more, but Chicago, omg there was skyscraper after skyscraper!

How many freaking people are there in this country!!!

Seriously I keep seeing all these industrial plants and skyscrapers and houses and shopping malls and the reality of how many people there are is really starting to dawn on me. It's just seeing it is so much more tangebile than some random number, you know?

I actually got a little overwhelmed by it all yesterday. I mean how and when did life get so complicated? We have water treatment plants and office buildings and airports and...Do you have any idea how many trucks there are on the road every day filled with stuff coming and going? Do we really need all this stuff? I don' know, but we have it.

Dale and I have dropped off springs and flavorings and air compressors and even car seats for a new Camero. We've been to New Jersey, West Virginia, Kentucky, spent LOTS of time in Michigan, then Indiana and now Illinois. Sometimes we are in the middle of nowhere, where things are quiet and peaceful, and others we are in cities and me being me, I find people fascinating, so, everywhere we go I try and find out something about someone.

I'm meeting all kinds of people. People who are all pissed right now over the buyout thingee sheesh, but anyway, I can't entirely explain it yet, but it's changing me, it's making me far more aware of life and home and community and I think I'm longing more and more for a quiet piece of land in the country. Somewhere I can grow my own food and live as simply as possible. I want to leave as small a footprint on the planet as I can, I want to save animals, and I want to be healthy, in spirit, mind, and body.

Ever hear the Rascal Flatts song, Mayberry? Well I think I have a whole new understanding of that song, and maybe it's just coz I'm getting older, but the more I see of this crazy world, the less I want in my personal life. I'm becoming more and more interested in faith and love and giving and being kind to people, and less and less interested in the big house and the trips to Italy. lol

I love meeting new people, I've met nice people, grouchy people, funny people, hurt and broken people. It's been so amazing so far and seriously, I was telling Dale last night, as today marks 2 weeks out here, it feels like about four days!

The time is buzzing by and I've adapted far better than I would have imagined. I've even been developing a new life philosophy. It started on my birthday, as I really sat and evaluated how I live my life. Then seeing all these people and businesses and the craziness life is, then yesterday I saw a sign that said...

"Today is a gift. Otherwise why would they call it the present?"

I think I've heard that before, but yesterday it hit me at exactly the right time. I spend far too much time in the past and future, when really the present is all we've got.

Dale's teaching me a lot about being more relaxed about life. He's amazing, ok he does get irritated with stupid drivers, but I've decided to ignore that, lol but otherwise, he's so laid back. Not in a bad way, not like I'm just gonna lay here and let things come what may. More like, I'm going to work my ass off, do the right thing, and let God handle the results. It's really a cool thing to watch and being with him is allowing me to relax too. I'm not worried about the next catastrophe falling, I'm taking in things around me and not worrying anywhere near as much as I used to and even though I'm not stressing and micro managing...
the world has NOT ended!!!

It boggles the mind. I love how much we laugh together too, that's a totally new experience for me and it's beyond nice. I've even been writing! I'm about 3k into a new series. I honestly didn't think I'd get any writing done out here, but when it comes down to it, there aren't any distractions. It's a huge blessing, but to go along with my new "live in the present" attitude, I'm not plotting how many books I can get done before I come home, I'm just writing everyday, thinking out each new scene then putting it on paper (so to speak) when I'm ready.

Life on the road is teaching me so many things, maybe I'll write a book about that some day!

Labels: road trip

WOW what a week! We drove about 2000 miles, hit a half dozen states and met a bunch of great people. OMG this is so much fun!

I've seen horses, cows, pigs, sheep, llamas and emus! I am in love with Hillsdale Michigan! I'd move tomorrow if Dale didn't have me all freaked out over the winters up here. LOL We ate at a truck stop yesterday, they actually served me my Pepsi in a pitcher with a straw! OMG all restaurants should do that!!!

Some of the things that are different then I expected...I hardly ever get on my laptop, which is surreal at this point. I'm even having to do edits over the phone, also weird. Sleeping in the bunk with Dale isn't as squishy as I thought. I mean we're sleeping in a twin size bed, I thought "no way" but it's fine. Actually it's been real nice. ;-) The showers at the truck stops, also not at all what I thought they'd be. A couple have been nicer then any home bathroom I've ever been in!

I think the hardest thing is the sitting. We haven't done too much of it, except for on the weekends, and it just makes me incredibly antsy! But Dale and I have been building dreams and sharing our lives and laughing a lot. I miss my kids, but they really seem to be doing all right. Of course they never call! Damn teens :p What, like they have a life or something??!! SHEESH lol

I swear the economy of this country is a hot topic all over, people are scared and pissed off. I'm not usually around people this much, so it's been fascinating to hear opinions and what people are passionate about. It is scary though and quite frankly this buy out of the government pisses me off too,coz they've never once bailed me out!

Okay okay, I do understand the reasons and all, but I'm already broke, I can't afford to take on more debt and who else is going to pay for this?

All right, enough political talk. :p

Personally, I find myself struggling with trust and faith and my own self worth. God issues are huge, I used to walk so close to him, but the last decade, I've been drifting further and further away, I need to decide what's right for me and make some severe changes.

Then, there's the fact that I've essentially dropped off the face of the planet and it made no difference, not even a tiny ripple, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Being shy, I like living a quiet life, but at the same time, I'd like to know I count for something. I don't know, I'm chasing around a lot of heavy thoughts right now. My whole life is in flux, but I think when I come through the other side, it's going to be a beautiful thing. ;)

Enjoy your Sunday, see you next week ~ Samantha

Thankfully, the first few days were definitely the hardest. Now I'm having the time of my life!

We're in Michigan at the moment, but we've already been to New Jersey, West Virginia and Kentucky! We haven't sat even one day without a load so that's fabulous, we should be able to catch up faster than we thought if this holds.

Dale and I think that perhaps a lot of truckers quit through that slow spell and now that freight is picking up, there aren't enough people to handle it all. We ran three loads yesterday! Anyway, we're number 4 to go out today, so I'm hoping we do, I'd love to get stuck in Chicago over the weekend though, because there's a church there I've always wanted to go to.

My boys are doing well from what I can tell. Again, I think the first couple days were the worst. I got a call from my youngest that had me in hysterical tears all night and plotting how to walk home from Delaware! But the next day I was told by said youngest...and I quote..."So you had another mom over reaction to something completely innocent."

SHEESH!

Z calls me about every other night, I'll be glad to get home to them, but I'm glad they are there for each other. Alec's still not thrilled in the least, but at least they are both old enough to understand why we're doing this. That we're trying to provide a better life for everyone. I'm not just ditching them to go on a road trip with my boyfriend, you know? I'm being careful not to make too many promises, but when I get back, I intend to show them this was worth it.

It's freakingly amazing how well Dale and I get on together. I swear, I can't imagine too many people being able to live under such close quarters, under each other's foot 24/7 and not get annoyed with it. Dale and I are loving this. I haven't even once thought oh good grief, just shut up already! LOL He's such a good man and being out here, he's had to take care of me in ways I never would have seen otherwise. I love him more every day and what's even better, is I'm learning that it's okay to trust him, he's not going to drop me. I needed to know that, and I think perhaps this was God's way of showing me, coz I'm not sure I would have gotten it this deep in any other situation.

Ok I've got about four more emails to return and edits to finish, I thought I'd be spending a lot more time on line than I have, but you know, I haven't missed it one bit! I'm usually attached surgically to the laptop. LOL This is a very nice break and I'm learning so much about myself, my kids, Dale, and my friends through it. I was panicked at the thought of hitting the road, now I think it may be the best thing I've ever done.

Talk to you all later!

Day 8 location: Kalamazoo MI

Labels: road trip

Other than I'm grouchy right now because I couldn't sleep last night and it's already humid this morning and I've been told will hit 90 today......life on the road isn't bad. I'm also having battery issues with the laptop, so this will be brief.

Well, I'm here. We spent the better part of last week, packing and storing everything we own, and OMG do we own a lot of junk! I have to admit though, I was amazed at Dale's ability to squish a bunch of stuff into a very teeny space!

At the same time, I just kept thinking, "we're storing that??!!"

Oh well, maybe when this is all said and done, I can just buy new everything and let them set a torch to the storage building! lmao

We're in Jersey now, arrived yesterday after driving through West Virginia, Maryland, and an adorable part of Pennsylvania. I need some kind of map that tells me what rivers we're crossing! Aren't the supposed to have signs??!! SHEESH

Anyway, we're here through today and then pick-up a new load first thing tomorrow and head for New York with that, the Buffalo area, I think. I haven't seen or done much other than try to catch up on sleep and get acclimated. I have good and bad moments, leaving my boys was the worst though. I know they're 14 and 18 and more than capable of surviving on their own, but I'm a mom, it killed me to drive away. Especially since they're father in in NO way an adult! I won't even go into the kind of condition I found his place in, all I will say is I'm glad their grandmother lives across the street.

OK, now my damn blood pressure is up.

Anyway, good thoughts sent this way is greatly appreciated. As excited as I am for the adventure part of this, there is still SO much of the home life that needs settled and I'm not even sure where to start.

All right, that's it for this BRIEF Sunday check in, but I'll try and get some pictures for next week, although I stupidly packed the cord that uploads the photos from the camera, so I'll have to see if I can find a new one.

Take care, enjoy your weekend and hug your kids! See you next week ~ Samantha