since I've blogged, but I've turned my focus 100% to my family, but I think...and I emphasizes the word THINK, we're making progress!

We've had a relatively calm week. :)

I was sharing this morning with someone how far we've come. When these children first came to live with us, they were hurt, had been abused and traumatized, they had never beenn taught common sense or rules, they knew nothing of discipline, they fought and lied and threw tantrums daily. We still have a long way to go, things are going SO much better on a regular basis.

There is so much more love and harmony and peace now which did not exist in the begining. These are good kids, who've had a raw deal in their mother and her complete lack of common sense or the ability to love and train the children she was given, but I believe in second chances and I intend to make the most of this one for them. :)

We were in court this week with Dale's ex as she was trying to give up all her rights in the hopes she would no longer be responsible for child support. The judge told her no. He said you don't have to see your kids, but you will pay child support. To which of course she said, I'll get it amended because I'm not paying. So who knows where we go from here.

Oh and our thing with the landlord is over. I swear people who lie to your face and stab you in the back are my least favorites on the planet. It just makes no sense to me. His wife's had cancer, you'd think they would have had a moment where they realized there is so much more important things in life than screwing people over, but apparently not yet. It's too bad, and I used to expend a lot of energy feeling sorry for people like that, but everyone has their choices and in the end, we all have to answer for them.

I'm just glad it's all in the past now. We didn't win the case, but didn't lose either, so that's cool, and moving on...

I feel like, and excuse my house building analogy to explain this family, but it works for me lol, I feel like we've poured the foundation on this house, it's not set yet, it needs some drying time, but I think I have it poured and smoothed and that's HUGE!

I've decided as far as writing is concerned, to stop trying to write the longer stories I love so, but something shorter that I can have done in a week. That's about all the peace I get usually before something else comes up and I have to switch focus anyway.

With the weather turning so warm and lovely, I made myself an outside office and spent all day in it. Didn't get a TON written, but I feel hopeful that I'll get this story done before Monday... fingers crossed!

I want to thank you all for sticking by me through all these tough times and continuing to buy my books. I got some reader mail again this week. I'm always so touched by people who've loved my work enough to write. That's always the best part!

Labels: court, step family, writing life

I had a HUGE epiphany this week where my life and family are concerned.

Everyone pretty much knows how I've been struggling something fierce in trying to find footing in my new reality. This past week, I think I had a breakthrough!

I realized I've been expecting Zachary and Elijah to act like 8 and 9 year olds, but really, the more time I spend with them, I realize they're stuck at about 4 and 5. So I've adjusted my expectations and my rules, keeping in mind they have the needs, impulse control and common sense of a 4 and 5 year old and things are going quite a bit smoother!
Zachary has even started hugging me. Elijah's always hugged me but about a week ago, Zachary decided he'd "try" it.

I really adore these boys, but it's been so frustrating trying to combine families, help these kids deal with what their mother has done and try and move forward. The boys and I talk a lot and I like that, and by talk I mean about important God and life type things. I've always been that way with my own boys, so it's nice to see it developing with Zachary and Elijah.

Last week we had some drama in the form of spray paint, I won't say more, but while the two boys have been on restriction from everything but chores and school work, I've developed a plan!

My oldest and I do most of the home schooling and running of the household together. On top of that, he's got college and art and video game creating and I've got my writing and we've been getting nothing done because 98% of our time has been spent redirecting Zachary and Elijah until about 4 in the afternoon when we're both about ready to just be shot and put out of our misery!

Granted, the kids have been through hell the past few years and we're working with that, but we needed some kind of plan that would work, so here's what's changed...

We've started working in one hour blocks. I've given the boys each small notepads and if they come up with a question or problem, instead of running to me and Z every five minutes, they write it down. Then once an hour, either Z or I, check in with them, let them use the bathroom (you have no idea how many times Zachary has to run to the bathroom in a day and it's just to get out of whatever he's supposed to be doing) we check their work and answer any questions. Then assign them their work or play time for the next hour and we start all over again.

It seemed ridiculous to me that these kids couldn't even play outside without needing something every couple of minutes, but with the shift in mindset, in stopping to remember they are emotionally only about 4 and 5, we are much better able to meet their needs. Plus we're better able to train them to follow rules.

We've only been working with this new mindset a few days now, but I can already see a remarkable difference. I've even gotten work of my own done! If this continues to work, I should have my current manuscript into my publisher by the end of the month and we may even be able to take on the next family project we're wanting to undertake, a complete nutritional make-over.

I've had a blog called Introspection for a few years now, but lately I've hesitated posting anything to it. It's probably been months in fact. I started that blog as a vent to help me through my separation and now when I go back to it, I feel a bit like a dingy butterfly trying to fit back into it's cocoon.

So here's the new place Passionate Rambles where I ramble on about life, God, kids, writing, weight and health, or anything that catches my attention. Just put up the first post today, so feel free to come on by and say hello!

I was so disheartened to hear that Castle was on the chopping block. I haven't enjoyed a show so much in years. The natural chemistry between all the characters on this show is so rare, it's such a special treat. The humor makes the show so watchable and then top it all off with a murder mystery and you have a truly wonderful hour of television.

This show is different from all the other "detective" type shows out there and my oldest and I look forward to it every week. Now to hear it may be canceled, when so many other less quality shows remain on year after year, makes me angry. So I'm not sitting back this time. For what it's worth, there's one more episode Monday night at 10pm after Dancing with the Stars. If you haven't seen it yet, give it a look. If you enjoy it, let ABC know that. You can leave a comment here

Last week ratings were up, so there is hope. You can follow Save Castle on Twitter for all the latest news. Also last week both stars were on The Late late Show with Craig Ferguson, their interviews follow. I hope this show gets a shot. Last time they canceled my favorite show, it was Moonlight, lets save this one!





Find more videos like this on TheEntertainmentHotline

Labels: Castle, Save Castle

I can’t believe it’s halfway through spring already. I swear it feels as though this year has completely slipped away from me!

If you’ve been reading my blog at all, you’ll know the drama my family has been experiencing, which has kept me from writing and making appearances most of this year. The good news is, that with the court decision last month, and Dale finally getting full, sole custody of his two boys, things look very settled and that there may even possibly be some smooth sailing in my future!

Believe me, no one is happier about that than me! LOL

I’ve been getting mail from readers asking me about sequels and I want to let you know how much that means. I adore getting mail from readers, especially through the dark times I’ve just been through. It’s made me all the more obsessive about getting back to writing. So with fingers crossed, I’m working on my first book in nearly a year and hope to have that into my publisher by the end of this month.

After that I am making my first attempt to move into the space opera genre with a series of books I’ve really been working on in the background for ten years. I’m so nervous and excited about that I can’t even tell you! Along with those projects, I’ll also be finishing the Kiersen’s Legacy series at Siren and possibly writing a sequel to one of my most asked about characters, Mike, from A Garden in the Moonlight.

Of course I have to balance all this writing with my new role of mom to four boys ranging from 8 – 18 and then there’s also the little matter of wedding plans!
That’s right, Dale and I have FINALLY set a date! September 26th of this year I will officially become Mrs. Blackwelder! I’m honestly, truly excited about the prospect…despite how many times I’ve sworn I’d never marry again. LOL I sound like one of my own heroines.

I do think the life experiences I’ve had over the past three years is going to shape my writing in the future. I have so many new places to write from and about, it should make for an exciting ride.

Thanks again to all my loyal readers, without you, this wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun!

It went 90% our way!


Dale got sole physical AND legal custody!

Their mother agreed to that before they went in front of the judge, so the judge asked her if that was indeed what she wanted, she replied..."Yeah. If he thinks he can do such a better job of raising them than I can, then yeah, he can have them."

Which got several shocked expressions and raised brows. LOL

Then child support came up and she said... "I refuse to pay him any child support." To which the Judge said, "You'll pay if the court orders you to do so. Mr. Blackwelder, would you like child support?" So of course Dale said "yes, thank you sir" and now they go back to court on the 18th of May to decide all that.

Down side, this means he's STILL legally required to pay that 800 a month and OMG we are SO far behind now it's not even funny, but hopefully she'll get told to pay some when they go back and maybe they can take what Dale owes out of that. Who knows, but he hasn't paid anything since he's had both kids, simply because we haven't had it.

Visitation was an issue, we wanted only supervised visitation, she told the judge, "I want to see my kids whenever I feel like it." To which the judge replied, "You can have every 1st, 3rd, and 5th Saturday, from 10am to 7pm, unsupervised."

Plus she can call them any night after 7pm, but no holidays, no overnights visits, nothing!

All in all it couldn't have gone much better and I can't tell you how settled I feel now. We even made the final commitment to switching places with Dave. It will take about two to three months to actually do it, there's repairs that need made and we all need to recover financially so we can afford moving vans and such LOL, but it looks like the river of life has hit a smooth patch THANK GOD!

It's so strange because everything just sort of clicked inside me with the judges order. It was like a switch being flipped yesterday. We're a family officially now, Dale and I are even talking wedding dates for real!

We've agreed to a wedding here, a honeymoon at Disney, and he's building me a deck as a wedding present with our initials and wedding date carved in it.


I'm almost afraid to think it, but life is looking really good for the next little while. Like winter is over, here comes the spring!

Tessa's Choice


I see signs of life settling. The storm of yesterday has passed, leaving peace in it's wake. I've written 1300 words already this morning, and with the final court date tomorrow for Dale's custody, the only other big thing on the horizon, is if we switch houses with Dave. Which probably won't happen until summer...could it be I'm going to get my life back??!!!